STORY OF LIFE

PEARL SHEEN.

Women like pearls. She will look more beautiful, lustrous because there shells that protect the body. Then how the pearls that if its grown without shells that protect the body ?

This large home brings meaning of  me. I grew up in this house with love and affection. In this house I can understand about the meaning of life. Discipline is applied dad took me to happiness. 5 years already I left everything. I left my dad, mom and my beautiful nephew Afika. I had to leave them for the job. But one that I never left, which is love and longing is always there for those people who I love.

The warmth of the sunlight that penetrates the crackin the window of my room which forced to open my eyes still closed behind the blanket. I opened my window blinds. Wind gusts in the morning makes me want to enjoy the beauty of the city in the morning.

“Afikaaa !!” I yelled to call Afika.

“Yes Mom” Said Afika who stillenjoy the comfort of her bed. I quickly opened the blanket arround her.

“Hey..girls have to get up early and do not be lazy” I said.

“Oh…mom just like a granfa. Should all be on time. Mother..is holiday” she said, pulling the blanket.

“you see the porridge seller grandfa doorstep. Early in the morning he had prepared everything to again fortune that is still hanging up there” I said. But I’m not a seller porridge..mom” she lazy answer.

“yes..but you have to get used to from now on. Sometime in the future you should independently. No way you dependent on others continues. And then you have the discipline to achieve success” I explained.

“okey my beautiful mom..I wake up now” she said as she showed her tiny teeth.

“Accompany me to jogging please”  I said.

“Okey..but I wash my face, grooming let some guy first glance. He..he..he…”said coquettish as she ran to the bathroom. No more 10 minutes Afika was ready with a pink shirt an sneakers. Hmmm looks pretty as her mother. Since childhood she was close to me.  I wonder she called me mother.

“Mother I’m ready..let’s go !” she said as she jogged. Remnants of white mist hovering above the clouds accompany our time together this morning. Wind and the morning dew gently sweeping my face gives pleasure who long I missed.

“Mom…why you working in Bali ? really far. Afika mis you mom..” Said Afika.

“Cieeee…miss with mom ?” I teased.    

“yach…nobody can shaed my heart” she spoiled.

“It is there grandfather n grandmother” I said.

“Yach..mom..it is not fun” she pouted.

“Ha..ha..ha..” I’m laugh as she scrambles long hairs.

“yes..because the mother as a profesional tour guide. While large areas of the tourism potensial in Bali” I explained.

“yes, but make you rarely go home” She pouted.

What did you want to tell ? Boyfriend ?” I guessed. She just smiled sheepishly.

“ehmmm my girl ha a boyfriend apparently” I teased.

“Ah..mom” she blushed. That closseness to Afika my beautiful niece.

“Hey….it’s ther coffe sellers. We buy…come on” I said to Afika. While enjoying coffe, Afika told me about her boyfriend. Sometimes I tease her and laugh together. Feels just yesterday I heard  a whimper afika when requested was read a fairy tale…but now Afika small vivacious, funny and sassy started growing up and already know love.

“Mom..why daydreaming ?” asked Afika startled me.

“No I just remember, it is your mom favorite food” I replied. Afika joy instantly dissapears. Faces original full color joy now turned gray.

“Afika..forgive me. I do not mean to make you sad” I said.

“I’m not sad mom…I just feel unfairly. Why should mom nadia be my mom, not you” she bowed slugish.

“dear…” Unfinished I said, Afika cut me off.

“Yes..I know what you would say. Afika..you should not be so. Right ?” guess Afika. I just nodded and smiled.

“Was already noon, Let’s go home ! Grandfather n grandmother must have waiting for us” I said. Sidelines of morning dew dripping on the grass, we jogged while sometimes laugh and joking. My heart can not bear to make sense of Afika moody. But she had to know about life. Hatred and revenge that wrapped up neatly in her heart should be slowly eroded. Afika should not be  planted deep hatred againts anyone despite her heart pain. Immediately when we got home I wiped my sweaty. Hmmmm it seems eager to linger here. But I might not be too long left my activity in Bali.

“Ninda ! Breakfast is ready!” my mom said.

“Yes Mom !” I replied. We are also dinning together. Long happiness I longed for a big family gatherings. But in the midst for our togetherness, I feel something missing. I missed the presence of Nadia today. But  I do not want to cheer this morning turned into a stumbling block for us. I know my dad was pain wit the events what occured. But I am sure that there still be a longing in his heart.

I opened my desk where I learned first located in the corner of the room. I opened the pages of dusty. Hands stopped at photograph. I looked at the photo. Sudden longing for the presence of biological parents always accompany every step. I just adopted. Dad and mom died of train wreck. I was adopted by my aubt and uncle when I was 3 years old. Time they wanted the presence of a daugter. Attention, love and affection towards me is very big. I was very lucky because they could survive. Though I was adopted, but they always show me the picture, and introduce me who is in the picture .

“This is mama Raisya and papa Dharma” Said mother.

“who are they ?” I asked, not understanding.

“Aninda, they are your parents” mom replied.

“Did not Aninda”s parents are you and dad ?”  I asked, not understanding.

“yes…me and dad is your  parents, mama Rasiya and papa Dharma also your parents. But they are already in heaven now. You pray for mama Raisya and papa Dharma to keep them calm in heaves” the mother said at. I actually do not understand what the mother said at the time.but mother always told me about them. So when I was growing up, I could understand everything. A year after adopting me, my aunt”s which I now call mother gave birth to a baby girl. I’m very happy with the presence of tiny Nadia. Yach..they give name their baby is Nadia.  They are very fond of her. They  thought I was an angel of luck. Due to take care of me , mother originally in the doctor’s verdic can not get pregnant, suddenly give birth to a beautiful baby girl. We both grew up with love and affection. Like sister, me and nadin (my nickname for nadia) are very close. Our very enjoyable childhood. The lives of our  childhood as an idyllic fairy tale life.

“Strong please if push swing !” Nadia whined that time.

“Do not you’ll fall” I said.

“No” replied Nadia.

“But I’m afraid of falling Nadin” I replied.

“Okey I have been playing alone. You continue to read the book” she said.

“yes already but the careful. Okey “ I said.

“Yes” she replied. I have not finishing reading a single page of the book, suddenly heard shouts Nadia.

“Aaaaaa !!” Immediately threw the book and ran toward nadia. Oh God..Nadia fell off the swing. She passed out and heer forehead bled a lot. Immediately I called my dad and my mom. Spontaneous father sloded me because I could not keep nadia well. Nadia was rushed to the hospital. I like lost direction itum 3 hours wait time at home is not a short time. I can do when it is prayed and prayed. In the mids of my fear, I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder.

“Sister”                                                    

“Nadin..are you fine ?”

“I’m good sist. I’m sorry if I follow your advice I am defenitely not going to fall. I love you” She said as she hugged me.

“ I love you too Nadin” I replied. Nadia is everything to me. And is currently in the big house, I missed it all. I missed my dream that has been lost. But the dream was never there. Nadia little changed when growing up. Missunderstanding of the meaning of the discipline in this house makes her feel constrained and finaly she found a heaven of freedom outside the home. Heaven that eventually destroy it. Modren world and free promiscuity make her forget the family.

“Nadia so what you want ? a girl come home late at night, odor of alcohol again” father snapped.

“I play with a friends.  You ancient dad, Aninda also ancient. We live in modern times” Argued Nadia. Dad lose patience. Slapped cheek Nadia. I screamed and hugged Nadia. Homes were originally filled with happiness smile now turned into frozen. I brought nadia into the room, I hugged her tightly. Smell alcohol stinging of the mouth. I do not want her to assume the household strangers. Least she had that I can be made in place to share.

“Nadin, where aer you at night like this ?” I ask softly.

“It doesn’t concern you” She replied tartly. I was surprised to hear the answer.

“this is none of my problem, but if there something you would be none of our problem together. Mom, dad and me” I said.

“We all love you Nadin. We do not want you to go in  dark world that ruin your future”

“Ha..ha…ha..the future ? what do you know about my future ? You’re not my real sister. So do not take care of me” Said Nadia. World such as like stop,  my feet can not stand anymore. Limp  my body. I’m not your real sister naadit but my love is to you and your family more than anything. You, mom and dad are the sun to me. Without of you I can not life. Tears falling down my cheek. I could not resist anymore. My heart like a glass that thrown a stone so shattered.

You are the pearl luster should we watch. We do not want the sheenthat you have destroyed for trying to get out of our arms. I said enveloped her body that already a sleep. Silently promised to restore the family’s happiness in order to become whole again.

Time was running out, beautiul flowers that had adorned our togetherness becomes very painful sharp thorns. Everyday I always overhear Nadia and father.

“Do not lump me with Aninda your golden girl’s, dad. I have my own life. I do not like” Said Nadia while slamming  the room door hard. Oh God…this is what makes Nadia envy me ? I know my fahter is not the intention to compare between me and Nadia. Father just wants Nadia to become more mannered and become pride them. Then I think, if Nadia would be better if I have to leave this house, I’ll do it. Maybe it’s time for me to live independently. I do nt want to make a load of father and mother again.

“Jakarta it hard Ninda. Not like tihis city. Father and mother do not want to fail the second time in educating children” father said.

“Dad..I passed the test flight attendant’s. I’m sure God will always be with me and keep me. I’ve treated father and mother since childhood. Present I must  be independent” Mom hugged me with tears. Then mom showed something of a fahter in her pocket. I was surprised what was shown mother to the father.

“What is this ?” Asked the father. Mother not reply.

“Mom…are you get pregnant ?” I asked incredulously. Mother shook her head.

“I hope this is not yours. You or Nadia” She said wearily. Deg ! My mouth suddenly mute and dumb. I do not know what to say. Possible test pack that belonged to Nadia ? Oh God…the sidelines of our happiness, problems arise that make mom and dad sad again. Evening wore on, the sound of crickets more serene night. I looked at the clock hanging over my bed. Already at 1 am. My eyes already feels heavy but not closed. My body lying on the bed but the mind and the heart looking for the presence of Nadia . then the open room door slowly. I immediately got out of bed and turned on the light.

“No sleep ?” Nadia asked. I just shook my head. Without speaking she immediately lay downon the bed. While lying beside her, I asked Nadia.

“Nadin..this time you meet anyone ?” I asked.

“Why ? You want to know with my friends ?” Nadia asked me.

“No. I just want to know with whom you are friends. Had been no friends who play here” I said.

“why ? They are all modern. Did not like this ancient family, many rules” Nadia replied curtly.

“Nadin..it belongs to you ?” I asked, holding up the test pack found the mother in the toilet earlier. Nadia did not answer.

“Nadin..I was ask you, if it so do not tell me you’re going to abort your fetus. Responsible Nadin “ I said.

“Yes..” replied Nadia. I almost do not believe the answer Nadia.

“And these drugs to abort your fetus ?” I asked. I found the drugs in a desk drawer Nadia. She did not answer.

“Nadia please...don’t ever you kill the fetus. Was your baby. Your baby did not sin” I replied.

“You say that because you do not experience. I do not want to get pregnant. Presence this baby is disturbing me. I can not have fun, and I’ill lose my heaven” said Nadia.

“Nadia..Istighfar…baby was like the sun for us. There is light in the soul of sincerity that gives warmth when we want to see it with affection. Okey if you do not want care for your child, me and mom will tak care of your baby” I said to Nadia. I hoe Nadia’s baby to provide light in the house and our togetherness that lose by dark can restore. Babies is Afika. Afika beautiful and funny afford give a cheer for us. Though Nadia indifference to Afika, but I am sure a mother’s instinct will appear in thie heart.

Over time, Afika petite little girl grew in toa vivacious, funny and always cheerful, but when scolding and insult started coming whack, that’s when the fun colour became gray clouds. Yach…small Afika be moody and taciturn child. I approached her innocent and wistfull, hugged and stroked her hair is long and curly. Silence does not budge at all, but my palms were wet because of tears that fell from the corner of her eye. Tightly hugged the petite body there is a sense of longing in my heart. Will miss the joy of a beautiful face that graced her face.

“Afika..come on accompany me to go”

“Where ?” She asked.

‘Hmmm..somewhere” I replied while smile.

Hot sun deciduous trees growing dried leaves were falling, carried by the wind to fly to accompany our departure, gloomy and sad face still adorns the face oa Afika. I immediately speed up the pace of my car, and we ended up in a modest house with a fairly large yard and looks beautiful with a variety of trees and flowers.

“mom..what’s this place?” Afika said. I only answer the question with a smile. Soon we got out of the car. Not until I knocked on the door, screaming children greet us.

“Miss Aninda ! You really do not ever play here again” asked one of them.

“Yes dear…I had working in Jakarta” I replied.

“Oh…yes…this introduce my nephew. Her name Afika” I continued. They are acquainted.

“Afika..common we play” rani said one of the orphans. Afika still shook his head and hugged my waist.

“Okey..later game. May be you were tired” Rani said.

“Afika you see a lot of kids your age here. They all do not have parents, even siblings. They all get the embrace of love and affection here. Anyone even abandoned by they parents when they were baby, because their parents is not desired” I explained.

“Then why are they all here ?” she asked.

“TO get the love they never got from their parents or siblings. Afika you’re lucky. You still have grandfather, grandmother, me and mama Nadia. Yach..thought she looks not  care about you, but in fact she loves with yo. She loves in her own way” I explanation.

“You see them all remain cheerful despite not having a family. We all have to keep living life with passion. Because God always with us. You should not be sad with your friends ridicule. Because ther is still God who gives love to us” I explained.

“Mom…I want to play with them” said Afika. Cheerful hue instantly reappeared on her face. Oh..God.. protect her, do not yo ever let her off of your arms please.

I opened the last page of the album. I view a piture of a girl with attendant uniforms looked so graceful and elegant. I see myself in the picture. 17 year ago when hope and joy and still hanging in the clouds. I tried to grab it. Hold it firmly but eventually turned into a grain of sand lost intangible. All hope, joy and love lost. Happiness of love lost after engagement with Pandu. Soul and my heart collapsed when she saw them together. Pandu and Nadia. Yach...my own sister had destroy any hoe knitting. Rainbow newly created whole by rain and storms. That’s when I decided to quit from the flight attendants. I can not work with pilots who betrayed my love. One year I lived in Jakart just by writing in a magazine. I’m sure there is good for me behind this. Until when agent of tour guide accet me to be tour guide in Bali. This is a tremendous blessing for me. This is a job that accompany my life.  And this currently the light of longing for Nadia flashed in my heart. My love has defeated the hatred that never existed, but I could not see her anymore. HIV beat everything. Heaven that she adored, worshiped freedom destroys her life. I do not Afika experience all this. Not felt tears streaming down my cheeks. Tears or longing and happiness for Afika girl now grown into a polite, intelligent, and she is a prospective lawyers.

“Mom !!” a small voice that startled me. Sahira turns my little girl, who followed behind Afika. She joined me from Bali apparently. Longing rays radiated from her eyes yant round. She is the fruit of love with Angga. He is a doctor who had handling the case of Nadia. Yach…all of this is God’s plan that provides the most beautiful grace in my life. I hugged both my love’s pearls. Afika and Sahira. I do not want the beauty of their sheen faded because speck stains that would ruin everything. The beauty of the heat is like a pearl luster that gives eternal beauty to the wearer.

Pearls that lived on the sea floors is much more valuable than a beautiful flowers that grows on the side of the road.